I wrote this post a few weeks ago. We did not have internet for a week plus. We have reached the “Promised Land”. But, I will save that for another post. Soon!
“I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.” Psalms 69:3
This has frequently been my cry in the last few months. We have been in Dubai now for 5 months. In transition. Waiting. Waiting for paperwork, company formation and visas.
Waiting, for a girl who likes to make quick decisions(aka impulsive), is excruciating. Waiting. I hate waiting. I want what I want NOW. Patience, is not one of my virtues. Expectations breed impatience, frustration and pain. I feel like I live on this edge of expecting God to move, having faith and not having expectations, to steal myself against disappointment. How do I live expectantly waiting for God to move, yet not expecting things to happen in the time I want? Perhaps that is the answer. TIMING. Mine or God’s.
That is in part one of the answers. I have been looking at the Israelites and their wandering in the desert and God’s manna provision.
What is Manna?
God’s provision in the wilderness. “Like coriander seed, white, the taste like wafers made with honey.” Exodus 16:31
Sounds yummy, like the wafer cookies from Holland, sweet and pleasant. Who would complain? I love sweets! Can you imagine…eating dessert all day long. Every kids dream; all you can eat dessert. No “eat your peas” refrain from Mom, before dessert.
Day after day, year after year the same. For 40 YEARS!
Boring, tedious, tiring, frustrating… Lord this is good, but could we not have a little cumin thrown in, how about a bit of curry? Maybe even some biriyani? Variety. Something different. Eating the same thing for 40 years, seriously, who does that?
WAIT, I am complaining about the provision of GOD. I seek relief from the provision of God??? WHAT?
Complaining? Should I not be rejoicing daily that I am not hungry, that deep belly ache of hunger. For 40 years I do not go hungry, I do not have to wonder where my next meal may come from. I am nourished and fed DAILY. Yet, I complain. I have just come from years of slavery, years of hard work, years of hunger, drudgery, hopelessness. I am free, fed, headed to a land of promise. A promise I quickly am blinded to by my complaining heart. “Are we there yet?”
Why do I strain against the provision of God? Why do I not see the blessing in the provision. Why can’t I be thankful for the provision. God has not left me in the wilderness desert having to find my own food. And for those of you who have never experienced the desert, there is nothing but sand, too crunchy…
Five months is certainly not 40 years. I have felt the rich lessons that God is teaching me. Thankfulness breeds trust and joy. My heart is learning to be thankful for the manna, the apartment I don’t have to clean…learning to focus on the abundant provision of God in all areas of my life. Not focusing on what I don’t have or what I am waiting for.
Keeping my eyes focused on the “Promised Land”, thanking God for the little graces and gifts.
There is life in the desert. Clinging to the provision and blessing, not straining against it.
More to come…
Grace and Blessing to you,